


I'll hide in my writing

by Not_a_healthy_human



Series: random parrlyn One-shots [4]
Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Angst, Cathy is depressed, F/F, memories hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:32:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27822313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_a_healthy_human/pseuds/Not_a_healthy_human
Summary: Cathy is once again the survivor
Relationships: Anne Boleyn/Catherine Parr, Anne of Cleves & Catherine Parr, Catherine Parr & Jane Seymour, Catherine of Aragon & Catherine Parr, Katherine Howard & Catherine Parr
Series: random parrlyn One-shots [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2007544
Comments: 12
Kudos: 41





	I'll hide in my writing

Cathy was fine. She had to be. She had to be... She had- She had to be. All of her friends were gone. She was once again, the 'survivor'... She had to be fine because if not, she didn't know what she would do. If she had warned them... If only she had checked the breaks before their departure, maybe none of this would be happening. Maybe they would be alive... She would be resting her head on Anne's lap while the green-clad woman played with her hair and read a book out loud. Kat would be stuffing her face with candies, and Cleves would be filming the whole thing. Jane would be carefully knitting something while her godmother would be happily staring at her fiance's face. How she wished those things were real. How she wished for her family to be safe and sound. But, life, as always, was not merciful. Instead, she had to live in the cruel reality where her friends- No... Her family was gone.

She had been tucked in her room, writing for nearly four months. After all, what was the point in taking care of herself if her godmother would not be by her side? What was the point in taking a break if Anne was not there to kiss her good night? What was the point of reading more than just informational books if Kat was not there to 'steal' her books while she was not looking? What was the point in waking up if it was not to one of Anna's jokes? What was the point in going to bed early if jane was not the one tucking her to bed? What was the point? She had long forgotten what she was living for.

She was relying more and more on what she wrote day after day. She had given up the show and started living from the books she had published. She was at least thankful that they published their autobiographies on their own accord and that all of what was gained with it would go to the last standing member of the family, and what she did not use for her basic needs went to the charity. "Well, what could we possibly do with this money? For now, we will just use what we need and donate the rest." Those were words that had once come out of her former sister in law, Jane Seymour. She missed how Jane would gently take away her laptop and drag her into Anne's room to be sure she would sleep. She was getting overwhelmed once again, so she wrote, she wrote until she passed out from exhaustion. 

She, once again, woke up thinking Anna had been the one responsible. She had grown so accustomed to the taller woman's teasings and jokes that she always thought that when she woke up was because Anna had done something. "I still don't get it. Why do you get to throw water at Anne's bed while we are asleep, but I don't get to fill your shoes with coffee beans?" She heard her own voice in her ears. She could also hear the taller woman's laughter. She missed those times when she would wake up to a well-done prank from either the beheaded cousins or Anna herself. Once again, she had tucked herself on her desk to write until her fingers could not move. 

She had been invited to a little dinner with the new cast and the alternates that had once shared a stage with her. She went only to feel a flicker of the magic that she once felt with her friends, but she still went. Grace didn't hesitate in tucking her on a lasting hug, Vicky and Courtney joining not too long after. She was grateful for them making the effort of getting her to come out of Anne's- No, Anne was not in there anymore, she had officially turned it into her own room. The new cast was amazing. The actresses were all full of life and seemed to enjoy the show as much as she and her family had once done. "One day, we will be all wrinkly and stuff. And we will still enjoy the show, even if it's not us on the stage." wise words from her godmother. She was always giving them these sorts of advice whenever they were feeling sad. She almost gave them an excuse to keep on writing. The memories were becoming too much for her. But then she remembered how much her godmother hated leaving earlier than expected. She couldn't write until later that night. 

She was once again on the grocery store next to the town's library. She was tempted to go into the library instead, but she hadn't stepped foot on that building since the accident. She did not dare step there in fear of Kat getting mad at her. "This is my favorite place in town, it's silent, has books, and there are no creeps around to scare me off." She remembered kat's voice when she first showed her the world of borrowing a book instead of buying it. She decided against entering the building one more time. She went to the grocery store instead. That night she wrote until her eyes hurt. 

She was once again wrapped in Anne's oversized green hoodie. She saw the green gremlin's Heelys in her girlfriend's old room. She didn't clean up in fear of forgetting how the room looked with the other woman living in it. "I know it's a mess, like me! Heh! But, I'd love to make my mess, a Parr-t of your life, whatchu say? Would you like it if we moved your stuff up here?" She still remembered the taller woman's voice as if she had never left her side. She remembered her all too well. She remembered her laughter, her space-buns, her sweet tooth, her witty remarks... She remembered all of them... She remembered how the dork asked her to be her girlfriend while holding a giant card with her portrait on it. She remembered both of them watching cartoons to make each other smile. She remembered Anne kissing her goodnight every night, followed by her big adorable smile. She remembered...

She knew she had written down all of that. But, even if she poured every single memory onto her old laptop, she could not bring them back... She missed them... 

Cathy was fine... Catherine was fine... Catherine Parr was fine... Catherine Parr was- Catherine Parr was not fine. Catherine was broken. Cathy was dishearted. She didn't dare pick up her pen. She didn't dare move. For the first time in months, Cathy cried. She cried until the pillow that was starting to lose Anne's essence was damp. She cried until her eyes didn't hold any more tears. She cried so much. She cried because she was not fine.


End file.
